Issue 2 Causing me Stress
In the last few weeks (or more if I am being really honest) I have been procrastinating. I am very good at this. I did not want to face the reality of having to sort those accounts that I hadn't done for over a year. The kids are always around and there are always distractions. My work station is in the kitchen, so I can either get down to it, a few minutes here and there- or- better yet- must be time to make another coffee- have a snack to get the energy up to do it. Then before you know it- I've lost the moment- kids need me ecetera... And so I've added some more insulation to my backside.
I know that I have been stress eating. But it could also be my body settling into it's more permanent state after having three kids and breast feeding? Oh yeah- and there is the middle-age spread thing. And another procrastination tactic is that I was not allowing myself to procrastinate by getting into an exercising regime until the paperwork was done.
The fact is that I don't have anything to wear. One of my wake up calls was when I was wearing the one pair of jeans that I thought actually FIT, thinking that maybe I was rocking the Jlo look:
(without the showy top)
Then HORROR of HORRORS. I accidentally caught my reflection in a window and saw that while maybe my jeans actually fit up top...
I was doing the Erkle down below.
My other wake up call was when I ripped the loops on a pair trying to PULL them on. Now if you have to pull that hard- it's got to be bad.
So I decided to face the shameful graveyard collection of jeans/trousers that were cluttering my wardrobe. Everyday- I would attempt to put one on- and be honest with myself- did they fit? And this time I would check my reflection at the bottom of the mirror too.
Now of course I am ashamed that I have so many pairs of jeans that don't fit. I love jeans. And I was hoping that I could make them work. But my body has fluctuated way too many times, and I'm probably either a size 13 or 15 which don't exist. Thankfully, at least 2 of those trousers were too big- and fell off my butt after an hour of playing! (Maybe every wardrobe needs these for a quick confidence boost)
I will try to achieve a heathier lifestyle, but I also don't want to pretend that I will change quickly or drastically. I also need something to wear now. And accept what I am Now.So, I'm giving up on jeans for a while and I'm not going to be depressed about it. I'll keep the locally charity shop in stock for trousers! Or I could keep them for a while and brainstorm about amazing crafty things you can do with your old jeans:-)
In the meantime- I am going to have to "change my look" and "shop". So I guess I'm on the look out for some cheap potato sacks- elastic waist-banded clothing (as a friend kindly suggested)- or maybe some forgiving dresses that can handle a bit of abuse from my lifestyle. If it wasn't so cold- I would be looking into Kaftans...
Here's hoping that having dealt with "one of my issues"; the paperwork; I can now focus on some other issues- and maybe not be inclined to snack as much.