Wednesday, 18 January 2012

Dealing with it

Issue 2 Causing me Stress
In the last few weeks (or more if I am being really honest) I have been procrastinating.  I am very good at this.  I did not want to face the reality of having to sort those accounts that I hadn't done for over a year.  The kids are always around and there are always distractions.  My work station is in the kitchen, so I can either get down to it, a few minutes here and there- or- better yet- must be time to make another coffee- have a snack to get the energy up to do it.  Then before you know it- I've lost the moment- kids need me ecetera... And so I've added some more insulation to my backside.
I know that I have been stress eating.  But it could also be my body settling into it's more permanent state after having three kids and breast feeding? Oh yeah- and there is the middle-age spread thing.  And another procrastination tactic is that I was not allowing myself to procrastinate by getting into an exercising regime until the paperwork was done.
The fact is that I don't have anything to wear.  One of my wake up calls was when I was wearing the one pair of jeans that I thought actually FIT, thinking that maybe I was rocking the Jlo look:
(without the showy top)
Then HORROR of HORRORS. I accidentally caught my reflection in a window and saw that while maybe my jeans actually fit up top...
I was doing the Erkle down below.
My other wake up call was when I ripped the loops on a pair trying to PULL them on.  Now if you have to pull that hard- it's got to be bad.
So I decided to face the shameful graveyard collection of jeans/trousers that were cluttering my wardrobe.  Everyday- I would attempt to put one on- and be honest with myself- did they fit? And this time I would check my reflection at the bottom of the mirror too.
Now of course I am ashamed that I have so many pairs of jeans that don't fit.  I love jeans.  And I was hoping that I could make them work.  But my body has fluctuated way too many times, and I'm probably either a size 13 or 15 which don't exist. Thankfully, at least 2 of those trousers were too big- and fell off my butt after an hour of playing!  (Maybe every wardrobe needs these for a quick confidence boost)
I will try to achieve a heathier lifestyle, but I also don't want to pretend that I will change quickly or drastically.  I also need something to wear now.  And accept what I am Now.
So, I'm giving up on jeans for a while and I'm not going to be depressed about it.  I'll keep the locally charity shop in stock for trousers!  Or I could keep them for a while and brainstorm about amazing crafty things you can do with your old jeans:-)
In the meantime- I am going to have to "change my look" and "shop".  So I guess I'm on the look out for some cheap potato sacks- elastic waist-banded clothing (as a friend kindly suggested)- or maybe some forgiving dresses that can handle a bit of abuse from my lifestyle.  If it wasn't so cold- I would be looking into Kaftans...
Here's hoping that having dealt with "one of my issues"; the paperwork; I can now focus on some other issues- and maybe not be inclined to snack as much.

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